A Course in Miracles Experiment (by Pam Grout) Day 73

There’s a light on already!

Our preconceived notions change what we are able to see.

If we let our ego guide us, that little demon will take us to a very dark place, indeed.

But if we remind ourselves that WE are in charge of HOW we perceive everything around us, the light starts to penetrate the fog.

Here’s an example:  My husband (of 21 years) is laid off from work due to the Corona virus pandemic.  He’s a handy guy, loves to fix and build stuff.  When we bought the house we’re living in, it had no electricity and only cold running water.  It was built by an Amish couple who sold it when they moved back to Pennsylvania.

So, the plan was that we’d buy it and fix it up,  knowing that Jim and our son Tyler could do all the work to modernize.

Three years into our grand plan, we still have a long way to go.

We do have electricity in most of the house.  We do have hot running water in the shower.  So we’ve made progress.  

Three or four days ago, I asked Jim to switch the light over the bathroom sink.  I purchased a nice 3 light fixture a year or so ago,and it’s been waiting to get installed ever since.  I figured there’s a fixture there, he could put the nice one up without too much effort.

Came home from work that day, and instead of putting the bathroom light in like I’d asked, he’d spent the day outside in the garden and in the barn (just like the last three weeks).  Then, just as I drove in from work, he and Tyler took off with the trailer to get a load of hay for the horses.

I was teed.

He’s been home now for almost a month, and I’m still waiting on all the projects that need done in the house.  I had even asked nicely!

By the time they got back, I was in bed and mostly asleep,so I never said anything.  I was still pretty aggravated, though.  During the day, I thought about it some more and decided that it just wasn’t worth being mad about.  Sooner or later it’ll get done.  So I let it go.

A couple of days go by, and while chatting after I’d come home yesterday, Jim mentioned that he wasn’t feeling very energetic and had been pretty tired for a couple of days.  I gave him the highlights of my day on the phone at work, and asked what he’d got done.  He said “Not much, and sure not as much as I wanted.” I could tell he was feeling pretty rough.

At this point, I was really glad I hadn’t made a big deal out of a small thing!  

Point being:  If I’d listened to that “ego-demon” on my shoulder, I’d have made a big deal out of the fact that the light didn’t get installed.  I’d have felt all self-righteous about it, too- after all, I’m working all day, right?  Can’t he get up for an hour just to do ONE little thing?

But what would that have accomplished?

I’d still be mad, he’d also be mad, and we’d probably have had an argument.  Is a darn light fixture THAT important?  No.  It would have been my ego, whispering that “If he REALLY cared, he’d have gotten this done.  He doesn’t actually give a darn what YOU want.”

It was obvious that he felt ill, and honestly, there’s a lot of days when I’m too tired to get much done, either.

He did bring it up a day or so later, saying he was sorry he hadn’t got it done yet.  My response?  “Oh, well, sooner or later!”. And when that came out, I felt lighter, as though I’d let something heavy down, and let it go.

What a blessing!  By just keeping my mouth shut for a day, I got to experience that feeling of forgiving, and it truly is like setting down a heavy load.

What are you holding onto, that’s keeping you tied down in the dark?

Let it go, and allow yourself the luxury of forgiveness.  Drop your anger, fire your ego, and fly above the clouds into the light!

Photo by nonmisvegliate, courtesy of Pixabay

With Grace and Gratitude, 

LeslieAnne

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